[Text and Picture/Excerpted from Gao Bao's "Get Out of the Lonely: Adler's Guidance on Courage", author Alfred · Adler]

Most of the problems in life can be traced to three aspects: career, sociality and secret relations. The three are inseparable and mingled with each other. If one of them is solved, it will definitely promote the other two solutions. Personal reactions to these problems show his deepest understanding of life's business meaning and determine whether his life will be happy. If a person thinks that dating with others is a painful thing, then he will be restricted and restricted in all three problems, and his life must be hard and dangerous, full of setbacks and rarely has opportunities.

and the three important relationships: job, social and close relationships. The real life of human beings is composed of three important relationships: job, social and close relationships. Everyone is bound by it. The series of problems raised by these relationships affect people at any time and without any time, and our understanding of lifestyle determines how we will solve these problems.

The first type of relationship is a professional relationship. We all live on a small planet on Earth, and no one can leave unless we die. The material resources on the earth are the basis for our reproduction and thriving. In order to ensure that the species continues, we constantly polish our spirit and body. So far, no one on Earth has been unaffected by this fact. Behaviors reveal a personal understanding of the state of life. Through behavior, we can know what is necessary, valuable, appropriate and possible to him. However, these explanations are indiscriminately subject to the fact that we are human, and we live on the earth.

The unbearable physical condition and the dangerous living environment have forced humans to look longer and correct their answers from a sustainable perspective with strong willpower to ensure the safety and well-being of human beings. This is like solving mathematical problems. You cannot rely on imagination and luck, you can only calculate with all your might and conscientiously. Although it is difficult to find the most perfect and correct answer, as long as you keep working hard, you will always get closer to the correct answer step by step. However, no answer can eliminate this: we live on earth, and everything good and bad comes from it.

The second type of relationship is social relationship. There is more than one person on the earth. As long as we live, we will have connections with others, but the degree of tightness of connections is different. Because our bodies are too fragile and are subject to many restrictions, it is difficult for us to achieve a certain goal with our personal power. Anyone who wants to live and solve all problems in his life will inevitably lead to failure and death. A single individual should not say normal life, and it is powerless to promote the reproduction of races. Therefore, whether for personal happiness or for the development of the whole human race, we must establish relationships with others to a greater or lesser extent. This connection is the starting point for solving life problems. Please remember: Isolation will only lead to death. On this planet, personal life and human continuation depend on group living and cooperation with others.

The third type of relationship is a secret relationship. Humans are composed of two kinds of sexual intercourse, and this fact directly affects the existence and development of individuals and groups. Any man or woman must face love and marriage problems. There is no doubt that the third relationship is the basis for establishing relationships between love and marriage. We can see his understanding of this relationship from a person's attitude and behavior. The best solution he has determined is in his choice.

The above three relationships bring three unavoidable questions:

1. What kind of career should we choose to live on this planet full of restrictions and dangers?

2. What should we do to establish a more stable position in the group so that we can cooperate with people and share interests?

3. How do we adjust so that we can accept and deal with the two sexual reproduction problems that are composed of two genders and based on them?

Personal psychology has found that most of the problems in life can be traced to these three areas: career, sociality and close relationships. Personal reactions to these problems show his deepest understanding of life's business meaning. If a person thinks it is a painful thing to interact with others, he has few friends, whether he is not satisfied at work or in his marriage. It can be settled from the constraints and limitations that this person suffers. In his opinion, life must be hard and dangerous, full of setbacks and rarely encounters. His social network is very narrow. He used the principle of protecting himself from harm, and as a prison for painting, banning himself and avoiding dating with others in his potential.

On the contrary, if a person not only does his job sound and lovely, his marriage life is also very happy, with many friends and extensive travel, then we can calm down. In his eyes, life is a process full of hope and innovation, with many opportunities, and there are no setbacks that cannot be defeated. To him, the meaning of life is to be in the same boat with friends, and to be part of the human race, to contribute to the happiness of the whole human race.

In human life, these three problems are inseparable and tangled with each other. If one of them is solved, it will definitely promote the solution of the other two problems. Therefore, these three problems are actually the same situation and the same problem; in the current environment, how do we maintain different aspects of our lives.